Mr Cuddly the Shark addresses Upper House!

Vocal Gansta representative of the Oceans Elite

Mr Cuddle the Shark at Parliament House

Mr Cuddly the shark presents his insight on the shark cull debate!\

LISTEN UP!!! Caus i got somthin to say,

and im not going to stop until you listen ok!

Sharks are shy diplomatic conservationists

we try to avoid the absurd human behaviourists

but unlike humans we can make mistakes

unlike humans we rarely nibble something we shouldn’t

unlike humans we are not so forgiven

we do not have a church to repent

but the humans come after us to have our heads

and not just the shark that made the mistake

that cops the full force of Australian state

but all our friends and family will be culled

for simply entering a beach we love

they don’t even make distinction

of species, age or intention

we never attack these swimming apes

and yet sometimes we do indeed make mistakes

all in all we are just highly intelligent developing creatures

that have survived the pitfalls of millennium extinctions

but no more are our waters safe

the real danger is these apes mental states

their perception of our kind

is brutal and undignified

We Deserve a Trial!!!

to have our say

defend our intentions

If you would just HEAR THE FACTS of the day

stop spreading hysterical myth

you think your so smart but you spread lies to sell print

I urge you to think about the backlash of karma

Please think twice before enjoying the drama

of seeing sharks as vicious killing machines

this idea is unsupported illegitimate and extreme

i know we seem scary and can look mean

but we are more friendly and kind ocean beings!

dont get me started on the trend of finning,

why do you like eating our tasteless rubbery fins,

it it for necessity to live?

or is it just some bulshit spread like cancer to the prestige?

you may not realise but we sharks control the ocean

not through bullying or governments passing motion

but through ecology, biology as masters of evolution

and without us you will see a mass dissolution

of all the animals beneath us in our vast ecosystem

but if you like swimming with deadly jellies

bacteria, algae and single cellies

or walking on land without oxygen to breathe

continue your path of destruction and upheave

because with out us there will be devastation

I urge you to consider my words of persuasion

together in harmony is my only vocation

to co-exist i welcome you to my home

the ocean

the sea

a vast food source for plenty

I will not attack

(but i could make a mistake)

but do not worry your more likely to die from a snake

or an elephant

or a cow

or a vending machine

or a car

or a mosquito

or a fall

or a swim in the surf

or a coconut

or a game of sport

or a champaign cork

or a meal

or a storm

or a bee

or a horse

or a cold snap

or a ladder

or a run in with hot tap water

or an ant

or a dog

or an icicle

or Autoerotic Asphyxiation

or a hippo

or a lightning strike

or a jelly fish

or a sharknado

so really you can see

were not as scary as you believe

we are simply not perfect

not perfect like you

please do not sentence us all

based on the actions of few

we ask for humanity

to step up and stop this insanity!”



Mr Cuddly

Note: remember we have been culling via nets designed to trap and kill in NSW since the 1930’s and in QLD with baited drumlines (Like WA trial’d) since the 1960’s. So even though they have decided to stop this horrific act in WA, oldest and most established culling systems in Australia are still in place!

Note: sharks are caught in Australia, finned on shore, sold for fin soup in Australia, and consumed in Australia then the rest of the shark sold to fish and chips stores (most of which is wrongly labelled shark even if they say Barramundi – most likely shark) in Australia. This is an Australian issue as much as it is an issue anywhere else near water.